Oh Manners, Where Art Thou?

I was in a store the other day and happened upon a baseball hat that had a built-in bottle opener sewn into the brim. The thought of one of my sons (or anyone for that matter) growing up and wearing this made me shudder. Joking aside, have we reached a new low? What does this say about us as a society and where is our sense of decorum?  

Whether its guys wearing baseball hats in restaurants or rude drivers on the road, the lack of manners in today’s society is staggering.

Granted people are the result of the environments in which they live. Maybe they didn’t have parents who knew, or even cared, that it’s good manners for males to remove their hat when entering a restaurant but it’s never too late to start.  By teaching them manners you’re giving them a rule book so they are equipped to know how to act no matter what the environment. This can affect not only interpersonal relationships but impressions on future employers. Their behavior just may open, or close, a door of opportunity in the future. Manners are more important than you think.

A lot of kids come through my house for play dates and I was struck recently with a young friend of my son who was so incredibly well mannered that I couldn’t wait to thank his parents for doing such a great job with him. He was so polite it was a pleasure to have him here. When I said, “thanks for coming over to play today” he actually looked me in the eye and replied, “thanks so much for having me, it was fun.” Many kids would either not respond at all or just shrug and say “OK” at best.  

Yes, it’s hard work training children in the way they should go but what a gift we are giving to society by producing young adults who know how to act. I have spent nine years prompting my boys to say “please” and “thank you” to the point that it’s automatic. Almost.

At a recent doctor’s appointment they were offered stickers. They took them and didn’t say anything. I repeated my usual prompt of, “what do you say?” and they remembered, apologized and said, “thank you.”

We continue to work on eating with our mouths closed and looking at adults in the eye when conversing. Clearly it’s still a work in progress but I live in the hope that it will eventually become automatic even though they might be 30 at the rate we’re going! Unless you teach them, however, they will never know.

Parents Magazine recently listed 25 manners all kids need to have. Below are three to get you started, with a full list available here:

• “When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.”
• “As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.”
•  “When you bump into somebody, immediately say ‘excuse me.’”