Tragedy In Japan: Expert Advice For Your Kids

Each time I watch TV or use the Internet I see new video and photos of Japan’s tragic earthquake, tsunami and now nuclear reactor situation. Whether it’s a radio update or a waiting room TV, images appear quickly and can show a myriad of scary scenes before you have a chance to change the channel for your kids.

There is no doubt that kids are taking this in on some level and certainly have questions but it’s tough to know how much to share. How do you handle a tragedy like this as a parent? 

For some input on this topic, I consulted with guidance counselor, Liz Simon. Liz has been the guidance counselor there since 1992 and was present for the 9/11 tragedy so is no stranger to handling difficult situations like these with our kids.  

Children want to feel safe and when they see images of entire villages being washed away it naturally makes them wonder if it could happen to them.

She suggests two main methods of handling a crisis like the one currently occurring in Japan:

Always be truthful: If a child comes to you with questions about this tragedy it’s very important to always answer truthfully but in an age-appropriate way. She said as adults, we tend to give more information than is necessary for a child to process so less can often be more.

Reiterating the truth that, “Yes, this happened on the other side of the world in an area that is prone to earthquakes but, when things like this happen, there are always grown-ups to help so no one is left alone.” This reassures the child that yes, bad things do happen but there will always be adults in control to protect them.

Reassurance is paramount in conversations like this and is a key component to both methods when handling children’s concerns. Children want to know that adults are there to protect them.

Start a dialogue through questions:  If your child has not asked anything about it but you sense they are aware of it you can ask a simple question like, “Have you heard about this?” or “Is anything worrying you or any of your friends right now?” This gives the child the lead by telling you what they know and helps you to gauge their understanding of the situation and how to appropriately respond.

Very young children may not be aware of what has happened but its older children who are the ones to keep an eye on. Frame everything you say so the child can check back with you as one conversation may not be enough for some kids. Let them know that they can ask any questions at any time and that you are there for them.

Each child is different and some children are more anxiety prone than others. Keep this in mind as what might work for one of your children may not work for the other.

 If you have concerns about your child, please contact their pediatrician or school guidance counselor or social worker.