Well the world didn’t come to an end at 6 p.m. yesterday. I was very relieved until I saw the gentleman who made the prediction on ABC World News Tonight this evening saying that his faith has not been shaken and that we will all be gone before end of 2011.
Now if I were a betting person; ok I am; I lost $17.50 on the Preakness yesterday. At 6:30 last evening I was feeling rather reckless in my newfound immortality. But I digress, if that gentleman is right and I’m not saying he is; but if he is, my bet is it will all end at 11:11 AM on 11/11/11. If the guy’s right, we all have a lot of plans to make in the next few months.
I’ve been told that “you can’t take it with you.” I never really paid a lot of attention to the saying until I started writing my End of the World Business Plan a few minutes ago.
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I’ve reached a point in the plan that is stumping me. What is the “it” that I can’t take with me? Were they referring to the cousin with hair down to her toes on the Addam’s Family? If that’s the case, the place we are all going to end up, won’t have shampoo or hairdryers. Being that I’m really into hygiene, that could be problematic. I guess I could just wash my hair with beer and egg yokes. Although that would mean that my scalp will always be half in the bag and have imbalanced cholesterol. There is an upside however, my locks will always have a lustrous shine. Ok, if that’s the “It” they were talking about, I can live with that—or not live, as is the prediction. Whew!! I’m glad that’s settled. Now I can writing the plan.
Oh, but what if she’s not the “it” they were referring to?
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The saying has been around a lot longer that Stephen King’s book or the movie so that can’t be the “it.”
"It" couldn’t be my loved ones—no my family and friends aren’t its. They’re my cherished people, my tribe; my reason for being. They definitely aren’t its. And I’m not selfish enough to want them to come with me when I have to go.
If it’s not the hairy chick from the TV show what or who could “it” be? There’s no way they could be talking about my stuff and my money being the “it.” That would make no sense; too many people believe in heaven—including me—how could heaven be heaven without your favorite stuff and some pocket change? What would be the purpose of a promised land without golf clubs or your favorite jeans?
I need to get some clarity on this “you can’t take it with you” thing. I am going to have to resort to my source of all wisdom, inspiration and complex spiritual guidance. Yes, I am going to Google “it.”
OK, this is what I’ve found. Information Technology (IT) is the first entry that comes up next to the book and movie. That might make some sense; of course we couldn’t take The Cloud with us? What would we put a cloud in, a Zip Lock bag? But that would mean we’d have to leave our Blackberries and iPods behind too? Huh…that’s way good stuff to too many folks. And I think the saying has been around longer that the IT industry as well. I better look again.
The next listing is the wonderful It Gets Better project designed to help gay teens. While a terrific initiative; that can’t be the “it” either; it’s too new as well.
Maybe I’ll Google the whole phrase, “you can’t take it with you."
This isn’t getting any easier. I’ve found a different movie and a play—why would I want to take those anywhere?
Well I finally found the answer buried on page three of the Google search returns! The answer is on a Microsoft Money Web page that explains that “it” is my stuff and my money! They say that if I don’t plan my estate right, the government could even end up getting all of “it.” How could this be? I want to take “it” with me! “It’s mine!”
Oh my God, I just figured it out. This whole end of the world deal isn’t a religious thing at all—it’s another secret government plot to get our money and our stuff.
Obviously, I’ve got some serious planning to do between now and November—or not.
