When Family & Friends Visit

My name is Deb Hurowitz, and I am a local social worker providing support for children and families. You can learn more about my offerings at http://mommybutstillme.com/. Each week on this blog, I will address a different topic ranging from infants to teens.

Congratulations on your new baby!!!

You want to keep him home to yourselves. Or you want to share her with the world. Or, most likely, a little bit of both.

This means you and your partner will need to SET BOUNDARIES. Which is much harder than it seems.

It is important to set some boundaries from the start...that phrase, 'start as you mean to go on'? It applies well, here.

A few things to ask yourself:

• Do we want visitors dropping in, without notice?

• Do we want a certain amount of time before an influx of guests that is only our (new) immediate family?
  
  
• Will we feel the need to entertain guests? Conversely, will they expect to be entertained?

Some new parents are thrilled to let friends and family visit with the baby, while they take a brief nap. Others will feel that they need to always have a selection of hors d'oeuvre on hand, and be the one to serve.

Many people revel in surrounding themselves with all of the people who will love this baby. Just as many look forward to insulating themselves and getting to know one another.

Moms who are breast feeding for the first time may need privacy, because they and baby are figuring it out, or are not comfortable having guests while baby is feeding.

All of these are valid choices.
And they may change as time goes on. 
Be confident in your decisions; as long as you and your partner are in agreement, they are the right choices for your family.

Once you have considered the above, it is okay to let the people who love you (and can not wait to see you and the baby) know that there will be visiting hours. Or that they need to call before dropping in. Or that a visit might mean that you need them to help wash dishes while you rest! Assuming your baby is not medically fragile, assure them there will be plenty of snuggling time, as well.

**You may also consider keeping a bottle of hand sanitizer near the door. There will be friends and family that are offended when asked to wash hands before touching your brand new, as yet unexposed to germs, person. While I'm not in favor of a fully sanitized world, this is a simple solution for visitors with a new baby in the house.**

Next week, I will be blogging about how to help your school age children understand that 'stay at home' mom now has a job.