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25 Unanticipated Realities of Parenthood

Parenting is filled with innumerable joys, right? If you are anything like me, I am sure there were - and still are - moments and experiences that take you by surprise. Here are 25 of mine.

Moms and Dads, parenting is filled with innumerable joys, right?

Still, if you are anything like me, I am sure there were - and still are - moments and experiences that take you by surprise.

Here are 25 of mine. I am 689635 percent sure you have more to add ... Be my guest!

  1. The Mama Bear instinct is utterly overpowering. (Admit it: you really do want to deck any kid that is mean to yours.)
  2. You realize pretty quickly that Mother Nature screwed up royally by not equipping you with an extra arm.
  3. Mothers that are well put-together, serene and skinny are, in fact, aliens sent from another planet to torment you.
  4. Pediatricians are not there to treat sick kids; they exist to talk anxious mothers off the edge.
  5. You will learn that Purell can remove Silly Putty from hair. (Thanks Meri!)
  6. You tread on Lego pieces, every day, every where.
  7. The moment that the kids are finally asleep is the best part of the day.
  8. You can catch puke in your cleavage.
  9. You shriek " stop yelling" with disconcerting frequency. Mostly in public.
  10. Your car will never be the same. (You won't care.)
  11. Play-Doh is evil.
  12. You will never understand Pokemon. (It's OK.)
  13. Wine is your savior.
  14. Motrin is also your savior.
  15. Just because your kid likes another kid does not mean that you and that kid's mother are going to be BFFs. This can lead to awkward play dates.
  16. Children are always smarter than you think.
  17. Managing the family schedule is a full-time job - and the principal source of discussion/negotiation/contention between you and your partner/spouse.
  18. To quote my pediatrician: "You cannot make them eat, sleep or poop." You will however ignore this and believe that you do actually have complete control over their every bodily function.
  19. Other moms are rockingly awesome. They are fantastic. You need them. Treat them with love and care. Especially the ones that share the same survival instincts.
  20. Alone time is sacrosanct. Woe be to him who tampers with it.
  21. Laundry. Laundry. Laundry. Nuff said.
  22. You don't look back for a second. You can't look forward either. But being in the here and now is a challenge.
  23. The cost of daycare/preschool for one, let alone two or more kids, will take your breath away.
  24. The cost of summer camp will bankrupt you.
  25. Parenting = a sliding scale of incompetence. Don't fight it. Embrace it!

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Karen Salemi February 26, 2012 at 05:12 PM
What a great piece! It recalled for me both the joy and the horror (I mean exhaustion) of having small children. I, too, think we were not born with enough arms for the job! Here's #26: If your kid says something embarrassing in public about another person (That man is so fat!), do not pretend you didn't hear her say it or she will repeat it even louder.
Brenda Crawshaw February 26, 2012 at 07:16 PM
Great list! Here's #27. Your kid will ALWAYS make a liar out of you. If you say they hate lima beans they will eat their body weight in them at a friend's house. Conversely, if you say they have never tried to wash a toy in the toilet, be prepared for a plumber's bill from Auntie's house.
Susin Carlson February 26, 2012 at 09:00 PM
That gave me a giggle :) #28? All of this will seem like a cakewalk when you hit the teen years....and you will revisit #13 often :p
Samantha McGarry February 27, 2012 at 03:37 AM
Thanks for all the great comments! Happy you enjoyed the post.
Gina Fishman February 28, 2012 at 07:56 PM
LOL -- needed the giggle on this hectic (work filled) Tuesday afternoon!
Susan Petroni (Editor) February 28, 2012 at 09:42 PM
Samantha - Love the blog post! As a mom, I can relate to far too many to list. I'm typing this while waiting for load #2 to finish of #21, while trying to decide what's for dinner and how I am going to juggle getting my daughter to and from swim practice and make the School Committee meeting tonight on time ;-)
Andrea Dunne Adrian March 01, 2012 at 03:27 PM
Really loved this, still laughing, because it is so true!!!
Karen Douty March 02, 2012 at 12:41 PM
#15... Sometimes I like the mom, and am not a big fan of the kid!? :)
Samantha McGarry March 03, 2012 at 08:33 PM
That's so true Karen :)

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